FROM “RICHES TO RAGS”, THE ROAD THROUGH HELL

Growing up in the time Czechoslovakia was under the communist regime sure was different from the freedom there is now. So while there were many restrictions, I learned that resilience is the key to overcoming obstacles, to keep my mouth shut when not asked, to be invisible, and that there are both borders and boundaries defining everything.

While at college I was part of the demonstrators against the communist government. At times we faced human shielded barriers and were expecting tanks to come rolling down at us. Fortunately for us all the time was right and the communist regime fell down before our eyes.

Later on after college I took on a few good jobs. English was still not a commonly used international language like it is today. Nudged by my parents I went to London  for a year to study English.

While there I supported my studies by living with, and looking after, two young girls. Childcare was never my strength. The younger girl was at times so challenging, that I would leave them both downstairs playing and watching TV and locked myself in my room upstairs.

One day I was so tired after a long weekend partying, that I slept when the family came home without keys. As they could not get in, the younger girl had to climb through an upstairs window to get home. All I recall was her entering my room, and as I was still asleep she screamed on the top of her lungs: “HANAAAA”! That much for my child minding qualities.

Upon return back to Prague I worked in a few good jobs and then found my way to the finance department of the British Embassy in Prague. A dream job working in a prestigious organization; with lovely group of people, meeting some well-known authorities. Among them was a quick personal chat with Prince Charles when he visited. I also assisted with the convoy transport of the delegates of NATO summit in Prague, having a great opportunity to enter the Air Force One plane while the crew was having a break.

All that was just perfect. However, I knew that if I stayed in that job, not much would change. I would most likely retire there and would still live with my parents.

So at a spur of a moment, I decided to take a chance and travel to the other side of the world to go to my friend’s wedding. It is a long journey so I decided to make the best of it and arranged to stay for the whole year. Not at my friends place of course, as that would be overstaying my welcome.

The first 6 months were tough learning. I went from a high profile jobs in Prague to not being able to find work in my field. Everywhere I asked, they told me they wanted someone with ‘local experience’. After some searching I took a job in hospitality, preparing sandwiches.

Coincidence had it that after some time making delicious sandwiches I was offered to run an overseas student agency in Sydney. One thing led to another and soon enough I have met Rado. Now, as it turned out, he was a great reason to stay in Australia. So I did extend my stay for another year, then another few, and later on made it permanent.

We happily settled in windy Sydney and later moved to sunny Brisbane. Life was good most of the time. Then in 2008 I went to all the possible and impossible seminars out there. Whether it was healing, investing or internet marketing, I’d done them all. After the massive dose of personal development, I left my corporate carrier and started my own healing venture. That seemed to be a bad move at first, as my confidence in my skills was lower than that of my clients.

So after a while at my home office, I fell into a depression which lasted for a few months.

Then I regained strength and trust in life and found an interesting retreat that promised (in my mind) the ultimate peace of mind and well-being on all levels. So I eagerly signed up.

After 6 days in total silence I was in total bliss. THEN ON DAY 8 MY WORLD SHATTERED.

Several years later I was still in the midst of the mental upheaval that had spun from the retreat.

I went through a massive dose of depression on several occasions, only to find out that depression is a sign of changing values and beliefs about our world construct and us.

The hopelessness that I felt back in those days was only understood by those who once went through it. There was no rational reason for me to be depressed. I had the life of other people’s dreams. And still… or maybe just because of that… I felt life was pointless and each day was a dreaded nightmare. That feeling lasted for some time. Understand months and years.

Then, after the worse passed and with a lot of support, I was back on my feet and ‘right in my head’. To be back to normal state of the mind was such a bonus. I felt recharged and regained some of my former self, with a new zest for living.

Only when I could see and accepted that I was actually fine, that life was worthy living, that people cared and that I had a mission to live, I recovered.

I found my calling in guiding others. In writing articles, blogs and books, coaching and teaching. I love the AHA moments of clarity, when things just come together. There is the deeper knowing, which means the truth is being revealed. Whether that is during writing of a text or the coaching session, it’s one of the most profound moments offered on the journey of self-discovery.

My mission is to live as an example of recovery, assist to found joy in life, help others create a future by design and trust in the higher power to deliver it.

May you be inspired and find your truth and joy.

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ALL RELATIONSHIP ISSUES SOLVED!

When it comes to relationships, there are many in our lives. There are many people in different relationships to us. Some people are in relationship with us and we call them family. Others we have a different type of relationship with and call them friends.

Another kind of relationship we might have with someone in a position of authority. Perhaps a doctor, coach, landlady, or teacher. Whatever the reason we are interacting with another person on a regular basis, we tend to enter into some form of a relationship with them.

The best thing about relationships is, as many of you might have realized, that they are usually involving two and more people. Yet, we also have some kind of a relationship with ourselves.

What I want to discuss with you today, is how we are handling these interactions with other people. Whether with family, friends, or others in our life.

I will give you an example here.

Here we have Betty and her partner of many years, Don. Betty loves Don and Don loves Betty. Let’s start with Betty.

Betty has been feeling a  bit frustrated lately. When we examine it closer, the reason Betty is not happy is because Don doesn’t pay much attention to Betty. At least not as much as he used to.  Don, who is at work the whole day, is fairly happy just to crash on the couch, watch some TV, have a beer and go to sleep.

Betty tries to talk to Don, but as she is not getting the kind of interaction that she would be pleased with, she soon stops her attempts to start the talk. As a result, she starts to look for another way to feel better and to fill the void. Betty finds herself a solution. She goes to shops and buys designers clothing.

When Betty shows Don her newly bought treasures, at least there she generates some form of interaction between her and Don. It might also mean, that Don will have to look at her in her bright new outfit, and might even compliment her.

From the above scenario, we can see that Betty is finding another way of getting to feel better. However, avoiding the real issue.

Now, here is Don.

Don doesn’t usually tend to express much, in terms of feelings and emotions. He doesn’t tend to talk much with Betty, as he doesn’t think she can understand him. Don is sometimes upset that Betty does things without his consent, but he doesn’t talk about it much.

Don thinks life is a struggle and one has to build up resilience and overcome the struggle by being virtuous. So he tries his best to live a virtuous existence. At times, Don’s internal pressure valve bursts open and the steam comes out with others around him.

Look at Betty and Don. Are you able to perhaps see anyone you know in this example?

Now let me tell you how I see this scenario from the external viewpoint. And what would serve best both Betty and Don.

Betty and Don had become a bit intertwined with each other over the years. And truly, that happens to many of us, when we live with someone long enough.

At the beginning, we spoke about the different reasons we all enter into relationships. The partnership relationship is one that many of us, or at least some of us, will go through in this life.

We learn very young how relationships are, by observing people around us. Then when we are growing up, we learn from other sources like media. The mixture of these is indeed a big influence on how we form and handle our own relationships.

Have you ever heard yourself say something to another, and then realized that you just sounded like one of your parents or carer?

So how to best deal with conflicts and issues underlying the often overlooked problems, before they snowball into a bigger problem in our relationship?

The best way about building lasting and fulfilling relationship is to start with oneself. When we are still single and at the stage when we dream about the other half. That is the time we need to start building a strong relationship with oneself.

What does that look like?

When we learn to understand, that the reason we would like to be in a relationship is for the beautiful shared moments of peace and harmony, of joy and content with life, of excitement from living and sharing this existence with another being. Then the person of such a confidence with life, is ready to attract their match.

On the other hand, when we come to partnership relationship from needs and expectations on the other person, we don’t come from a place of wholeness and love. Then the other person we attract to ourselves is also in the same boat. They are responding to the energetic vibration we are sending (we could call it a certain degree of low self-confidence, lack of self-love and desire for any kind of personal attachment).

The true solution to Betty and Don is to go back to their own basic needs and fulfill them with self-love. They, and we all, can be sure to do ourselves a big favor, when we come back and start the journey within.

And if that all sounds too airy fairy, then perhaps just have a power session at the gym and couple of green smoothies, before delving into the unknown field of self exploration and self-help.

I wish you the best new self discoveries. As we all can benefit from some more meditation, internal observing, reflection and self-awareness.

Live well aware.

 

 

 

 

COMING OUT OF THE CLOSET

Here it is! A breakthrough announcement. Let me tell you the story, so you know which closet it’s coming from.

There was a time in my life when things were not this smooth, but rather purely crazy. My relationships were an orderly chaos for many years. I actually made a bet that I will not marry. The partnerships that I got into were not very suitable for me and my work life was just a daily endeavor that kept me in a state of limbo for a long time. I had been living that way for too long, until I could not breathe in that life any longer.

The meaning of my life was a blur. Acting according to societal expectations, ingrained into me through my upbringing. I lived unaware of what this existence was all about. What I was all about. What my life meant and what was I here for.

When conformity became way too big a burden to drag around I packed one bag and left my country of origin. On my own. I knew nobody, where I was heading and I didn’t quite have a clue what I will do.

What kept me going was the need for a change of scenery. The need to get out of the uncomfortable feeling I had in the so called comfort zone. If I stayed where I was, nothing seemed to ever improve. So I had to carve my own life path.

The new beginning  in a new country was not easy. However, even through the first few years I was fairly stable and solid in my opinions about life and how I wanted to live it.

I met some interesting people on my journey and took upon a few opportunities and it all started to come together and bring me a new sense of belonging and identity. Things started to work out nicely. Until…

Until life had a joke up its sleeve for me and I was about to learn more about it.

Then one day I browsed the internet for places to go on holidays. I stumbled upon a 10 days silent meditation retreat, which was called Vipassana. My curious mind was engaged and once I found a bit more about it I was hooked. I wanted to try it. I was both daring and intrigued. To spend 10 days in complete silence, without any eye contact, with no sex, no writing, no technology, no books, no exercise, no alcohol, no drugs, no music…no distractions.

Well, it didn’t take much for me to decide to do it.

The retreat was set in a forest, in an environment of peaceful surroundings and wild wallabies, birds and other creatures. Just perfect set for such an intense 10 days meditation course.

I will skip the details of the retreat story here, and get to the point I want to make here.

My life shattered on that retreat. It was wild, crazy, deep, moving, painful and enlightening ride. I survived physically, yet everything in my psyche fell apart and re-birthed itself anew. It blew my mind, literally.

Life after the retreat was not in any shape or form the same as before.

The belief structures that were so well ingrained in my psyche shattered into millions of lights. Life suddenly made sense.

To know what I am talking about here exactly, you can Google these two words “Kundalini Awakening”, respectively for more descriptive detail of the events, you might want to read the book “Driven By Kundalini”.

I went from being a rather strong and solid practical personality for most years, to finding myself in the center of the whole universal life energy. Bliss is a good way to describe the state of mind, when our mind gets out of the way and the energies there are present and moving upwards.

Experience the eternity in a moment is the best I can call it. Hell and heavens meeting point.

What actually happened was that I ended up hospitalized and locked up in the ICU intensity care unit.

And that was just the beginning …

To leave you with some sort of wisdom from all this. Here is what I know now.

Life is best lived. Until we stretch our thinking mind, we don’t grow. Without support of the right kind, we might not progress as expected.

Let life be what it is, without expectations and attachments to the past or the future.

Be aware.