THE TIME OF SWOOPING MAGPIES

It has been an interesting ride for me, this past two to three weeks. My brain had to undergo a number of shocks and to reset itself, after the ongoing energy that went through it.

Who doesn’t believe that we are energetic beings needs to learn about the use of electro-convulsive therapy. ECT, as it is commonly known, is rather controversial treatment and in many countries is forbidden. Here, in Australia, it is still however a common treatment of choice for stabilizing mental health.

What I learned afterwards is that it is administered in combination with a medication, which makes the patient lose memory. At least that was the explanation given to me by a nurse, when I complained about a loss of memory at around the time of ECT.

Now, you might or might not agree with the use of ECT. I had my brain changed by its use multitude of times in the last 9 years. I can say that it seems to be the one and only resource in the medical field, which seems to deliver some desired result.

So, whether I agree with the administering of the electrical current to my brain or not, whether I like to undergo a seizure of a kind or not; I have to admit, that its result is rather mysterious, yet desired. It happens to somewhat reset and bring back my commonly accepted behaviors and beliefs.

And the persona that is accepted in the society at large, as well functioning, returns upon the effect of the ECT.

Yes, I am blatantly stating that it works, even though no one actually understands why and how.

The vegetable, which I become, right after the treatment with ECT, slowly and mysteriously dissipates and I start to return to make ‘sense’ again. My faculty of cognition and logic returned and I was even able to talk the doctors out of further treatment.

And if you ask why I need the treatment in the first place, you might be surprised to learn the truth. The truth is, that since my Kundalini awakening experience back in 2009, I at times enter a state of being, a state of mind, where I become ‘a danger’ to myself. I stop eating, drinking and sleeping. In that state, I can communicate with others, still cognitive, yet elevated. I feel very high energetically and can be very physically and mentally strong during that time.

That state is not yet sustainable or accepted by others. So until I am able to sustain it and survive it in this body, I understand that I still need to receive a treatment for it.

And until there is a better and humanely more acceptable treatment other than ECT, I will have to endure its course.

May the energy flow through you in harmony.

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CRAZY BY NATURE, BLISSED OUT

I have a conviction I want to make today. It’s been some time, actually since the year 2009, since my ‘first awakening’. And today I want to talk a bit about what that means in my life experiences. People often hear about some form of ‘awakening’ on a regular basis, but what it really means for those involved?

I will tell you my personal recent example. Today is a rather special day for me. Just because I am still alive and breathing, cognitive and able to somehow function. It’s been very interesting past two and half weeks. My attendance in the mental health ward was truly somewhat different than the previous xx times. This time round, I went in there still functioning consciously very well , yet with a massive dose of energy that could not be contained. My body was up and running on Prana. I didn’t have the need for food, drink or sleep. That was very energy draining for my husband though, who didn’t get his needed sleep either. After a couple of days like that, he had no choice, but to take me to hospital.

Now, what happened with me there could be viewed as very distressing and hard to understand for anyone involved, especially myself. After some time on the open ward, I had been put into seclusion and it was not pretty at all. Not wanting to scare people off, or to sound very negative and frightening, I will try my best to provide the most objective overview of the situation.

The energy called Kundalini, or whatever one wishes to refer to it, was very high in me and as I was not allowed to ‘ride it’ I felt like caged animal. Due to consequently being treated with a doses of ECT, and the administering of some specific memory disturbing medication (about which I learned now from a nurse friend of mine) I have a loss of memory for about a week or so. However, saying that still makes me wonder, what specific behaviour did I do, that put me in danger of myself, that the doctors decided to put me into seclusion and treat me with ECT.

For some time after the ECT I was pure vegetable. Only some good healing time later I was back to my ‘commonly acceptable’ self, and able to reason and apply logic to my voice. And that was when the doctors listened to me and refrained from administering further doses of already agreed upon ECT. True relief was, that I was able to speak for myself acceptable well enough to change their regular form of treatment. I had challenged their methods for some time already, so it was nice to be respected for who I presented as.

While in the hospital ward, I met with some interesting people. Patients and nurses. Everyone was there for some reason, sometimes not knowing why. Yet the most important thing that I learned was that we are all in this together. The staff, the patients, the visitors, all. We are all threading our life path without instructions. Just living to our best knowledge and understanding of what life is about. Oftentimes keeping occupied, to avoid looking at the depth of our being. Avoiding feeling the many individual traumas that our life journey provided. Being part of life existence, being deeply touched by experiences and learning to teach ourselves the best possible way to drive our conscious existence.

Awakening as such is the process of shattering of the structured concept of the self and the others. The understanding through experience that there is the oneness of all there is, and that we are all part of it in our own uniqueness. The bursting out of seams of the conscious mind, reaching deep into the unconscious and subconscious and pulling out the weeds that got planted there. Awakening means different things to different people. To me it’s the above and beyond.

Now being back in the familiar environment that I cherish dearly, I appreciate the small things life provides. Like getting awake every morning. Like being able to breathe air. Like having a family that loves and accepts me with all the faults and quirks that I provide. That and more makes me grateful. Friends who are there for me when I feel that I need their attention.

I dare you to question your existence in a way that challenges your own beliefs. I dare you and me to live up to our best self, to be the true Self actualized. To self realize.

Find the truth of who you are and live that. I experience glimpses of my true higher self in the moments that felt blissful and free. The higher purpose of life is revealed in those moments of clarity and connection. There is more to life than the daily grind that we are often times part of.

Shed the shell of conditioning and find a path to the truth. It gets revealed through deeper experiences and often looks crazy to masses. I am here to shake my own concepts. To apply what I preach in my own life. To heal my broken being through understanding and attention.

Here I am, still crazy as ever and able to perceive the underlying fabric of life existence. Seeing the influence of life around me through my eyes and feeling the energy in my body. Being in the body, yet not the body. Moving air through my nostrils and keeping the body alive and functioning, unconsciously conscious.

Feel the air you breathe in and out in a moment of conscious living.

Breathe freely and live consciously.

SOLUTIONS RATHER THAN PROBLEMS

There are people who are able to see solutions before they even see anything closely related to a problem. And then there are others, who can ONLY see the problem. They actually see the problem in such a detail, that they create way more problems from the first one.

Now, I don’t know which one you relate to. You are blessed, if you can see yourself in the first scenario, being the person, who sees solutions rather than seeing problems. Frankly, I have been many times the problem seeker, who is in the second pool of people.

When something is presented to me as a grand idea my mind straight away does the following. It immediately starts to create the worst case scenarios and see all the problems associated with what could go wrong. Don’t get me wrong. This type of mental activity can be quite productive and helpful at times. For example when one needs to troubleshoot to test all the possible scenarios before execution of an idea. Well, then the thinking style that I learned can bring some needed warnings and perhaps even solutions that are good for the situation.

However, in the general scheme of things, it’s not exactly the most helpful of mental activities. The way things get done and how creations get created is by people I would call visionaries having a grand vision, usually beyond their time. When someone like that comes to an idea that is larger than their life, or perhaps at least larger than what the current reality is presenting to them, they start to fire up their mind with positive exciting activity. Creating a mental picture of the vision in a detail and as it would have already happened now.

One such person I can think of for the illustration purposes is Elon Musk. Most people at least heard of Elon. He is one of the, if not the greatest of, visionaries of our era. I definitely applaud and admire Elon’s perseverance and higher vision. And to drive the point home, he is not only a visionary, but gets stuff completed and on the roads.

My question to you and me now is: Are you a visionary? Or are you a whinge-nary?

Well, most of us would love to see ourselves as the first option. And if you happen to be in the whinge-nary category at the current moment, please note this.

Unless we recognize our own shortcomings, we are unable to best deal with them. It’s only when we come to realization that our mind is ‘soft’ wired to work in certain way, to create more problems, only since then we get the opportunity to change that.

There is still time to change. The first step on the way to change is awareness.

So rejoice as now you and I have an opportunity to recreate our mind to our desired way of thinking and being.

If you have some doubt, do some research about the science in the Neuroplasticity of the brain.

Until your next thought.