MIDNIGHT POETRY – ‘Riddled’

Riddled

As we march
Into the unpredictable
The well known ‘me’
With the insecure ‘I’

The rumbling of thoughts
Swooshing through my brain
Sparks of thunderbolts
Flashes of lightning

Microscopic greatness
On a Petri dish
Slush of fat cells
Moving through space

Invisible chains
Holding my reality
World full of sanitation
Yet without sanity

Training my perception
To look at the beauty
With grace and awe
Full of expectation
An order in an action

Stay with me
Hold me tight
We are meant to be
Have a free will
Only sign here

Illusions vanished
What came after
The time of honeymoon
Love and peace

Esteemed architects
Burning bridges
Dry land of bare souls
Living in harmony

Truth on a plate
Masking tape fell off
Wrinkled soul
Shivers exposed in the heat

Calling no number
Breaking silence
Deep within
Found the Self

Lost in the heat of night
Day full of promise
Best of times to be had
Yet to dream big

Shadows of the I
Creeping up on my Self

Exposed

Blended into wholeness

MIDNIGHT POETRY “Falling Inside”

This time my loose attempt at creating poetry has been inspired and guided into being by an acclaimed, well versed and passionate UK poet Joelle Taylor. Joelle led a poetry workshop here in Brisbane and I had the pleasure to be there. Thank you Joelle for bringing your significant and raw style of poetry into being and sharing your story with the wider audience. You are a legend and an inspiration 🙂

Here is my piece uncovering the turning point of my extraordinary life experience.

“Falling Inside”

A woman herded behind an office desk
equaling figures balancing out sheets.

One cog in the vending machine of life
Spitting out coke addicts at regular intervals
Undisturbed sheepish existence.
Pages of years gone by.

The thundering storm came uninvited
Breaking the echoes of silence and seclusion
The sky broke in half. Peace and bliss at first.

Massively frightening and uprooting all in a space of a day
The fire came from within and burned all without mercy.

Head spins and heads turn away from the burning image
Deep inside lies the key to salvation of the soul.

Upturned and recycled image of the ego
Holding out its formal reigns.
The illusion of control destroyed.

Free fall into the abyss of life.

____________________

 

 

 

 

THE FUTURE IS AS BLEAK AS WE SEE IT

Rather than talking about the state of the planet and detailed foretelling of the global future, let me offer a little different view.

You might have heard the saying ‘What you focus on expands‘, respectively ‘Where attention goes energy flows‘ or something on a similar note.

And with that comes my question: What “thought type” represents your daily mindset the most?

A) a worrier
You are always in the heightened state of expecting something to go wrong. Postulating about all the possible scenarios that will ‘go bad’.

B) oldnews advocate
You listens to all the news and feel overwhelmed by all the terrible and gloomy world out there, where everyone is against everyone and ‘they’ are controlling the planet with whatever possible.

C) an optimist
You are the person who always seems to be in a good mood, not too worried by much and looking at all with a positive attitude of hope and wondrous expectation and trust.

Which one is the ‘right’ one for you? Or rather, would you prefer to be in a different frame of mind than you find yourself be in now? Do you recon it is possible to change your mind?

Are we able to unsee the seen?

In this past 10 years I had the opportunity to reach into the depth of my mind and psyche. The stuff that I saw there was not exactly pretty. I was looking around the mental concepts of my life and started to find and observe all kinds of rigid structures, frameworks, and beliefs. With time, (and after therapy and trainings of all kinds), I learned to be more aware and observant of what goes on inside of the mind. Sometimes it’s quite in the very moment of the situation at hand, but thanks to the ability to reflect upon thoughts and behaviors, also in the hindsight.

Above is to demonstrate that there is a certain process of adventure and discovery, when we learn to uncover our own shortcomings and rigid thoughts.

The world out there reflects upon what is inside of us. Another statement says:  ‘We can’t see outside what is not inside of us.’

So if there are ongoing internal turmoils within us, they are then reflected upon our daily reality (thoughts, feelings, behaviors) and affect all that is happening with us. That also affects our focus.

As you might have previously learned about our RAS (Reticular Activating System), our brain tends to filter out all ‘unnecessary’ information and outside input, based on our concept of reality and focus.

Whether we see the future as bleak or not, is just our perception and focus.

When we learn to direct our focus towards other attention seeking choices, we might actually feel better about life in general, about ourselves and about the world around us.

What is important to realize is that we learned to perceive life a certain way. Through societal indoctrination, through parental influence and other social conditioning while we were children. Now, as grown ups we often still carry this illusion made just from ‘hot air’ in our mind.

Check for yourself. Is your thinking aligned to your sense of being? Or is there work to be done by sifting through the old and bringing in new, more open mind?

Now, let me finish by saying this. I don’t mean to prescribe the one and only way of being. There is not one way of thinking that will suit us all. We are all at different stages through our life paths and therefore might need different mindsets from each other.

The above said, I find that for me personally the following works magic.

Cultivating an optimistic mindset; getting rid off or switching off all negative and dramatic sounding devices and apps; being surrounded by nature and silence as often as possible…

Simple things like these can help us re-balance our unhealthy thinking and bring more peace into our life. And by finding more balance in our own life we are better equipped to help others.

The unrealness of the prefabricated learned construct of reality is bursting out of seams.

Creating more open minded space of expansion. Yay!

Exciting times ahead.

THE TIME OF SWOOPING MAGPIES

It has been an interesting ride for me, this past two to three weeks. My brain had to undergo a number of shocks and to reset itself, after the ongoing energy that went through it.

Who doesn’t believe that we are energetic beings needs to learn about the use of electro-convulsive therapy. ECT, as it is commonly known, is rather controversial treatment and in many countries is forbidden. Here, in Australia, it is still however a common treatment of choice for stabilizing mental health.

What I learned afterwards is that it is administered in combination with a medication, which makes the patient lose memory. At least that was the explanation given to me by a nurse, when I complained about a loss of memory at around the time of ECT.

Now, you might or might not agree with the use of ECT. I had my brain changed by its use multitude of times in the last 9 years. I can say that it seems to be the one and only resource in the medical field, which seems to deliver some desired result.

So, whether I agree with the administering of the electrical current to my brain or not, whether I like to undergo a seizure of a kind or not; I have to admit, that its result is rather mysterious, yet desired. It happens to somewhat reset and bring back my commonly accepted behaviors and beliefs.

And the persona that is accepted in the society at large, as well functioning, returns upon the effect of the ECT.

Yes, I am blatantly stating that it works, even though no one actually understands why and how.

The vegetable, which I become, right after the treatment with ECT, slowly and mysteriously dissipates and I start to return to make ‘sense’ again. My faculty of cognition and logic returned and I was even able to talk the doctors out of further treatment.

And if you ask why I need the treatment in the first place, you might be surprised to learn the truth. The truth is, that since my Kundalini awakening experience back in 2009, I at times enter a state of being, a state of mind, where I become ‘a danger’ to myself. I stop eating, drinking and sleeping. In that state, I can communicate with others, still cognitive, yet elevated. I feel very high energetically and can be very physically and mentally strong during that time.

That state is not yet sustainable or accepted by others. So until I am able to sustain it and survive it in this body, I understand that I still need to receive a treatment for it.

And until there is a better and humanely more acceptable treatment other than ECT, I will have to endure its course.

May the energy flow through you in harmony.