MIDNIGHT POETRY “Falling Inside”

This time my loose attempt at creating poetry has been inspired and guided into being by an acclaimed, well versed and passionate UK poet Joelle Taylor. Joelle led a poetry workshop here in Brisbane and I had the pleasure to be there. Thank you Joelle for bringing your significant and raw style of poetry into being and sharing your story with the wider audience. You are a legend and an inspiration 🙂

Here is my piece uncovering the turning point of my extraordinary life experience.

“Falling Inside”

A woman herded behind an office desk
equaling figures balancing out sheets.

One cog in the vending machine of life
Spitting out coke addicts at regular intervals
Undisturbed sheepish existence.
Pages of years gone by.

The thundering storm came uninvited
Breaking the echoes of silence and seclusion
The sky broke in half. Peace and bliss at first.

Massively frightening and uprooting all in a space of a day
The fire came from within and burned all without mercy.

Head spins and heads turn away from the burning image
Deep inside lies the key to salvation of the soul.

Upturned and recycled image of the ego
Holding out its formal reigns.
The illusion of control destroyed.

Free fall into the abyss of life.

____________________

 

 

 

 

COMING OUT OF THE CLOSET

Here it is! A breakthrough announcement. Let me tell you the story, so you know which closet it’s coming from.

There was a time in my life when things were not this smooth, but rather purely crazy. My relationships were an orderly chaos for many years. I actually made a bet that I will not marry. The partnerships that I got into were not very suitable for me and my work life was just a daily endeavor that kept me in a state of limbo for a long time. I had been living that way for too long, until I could not breathe in that life any longer.

The meaning of my life was a blur. Acting according to societal expectations, ingrained into me through my upbringing. I lived unaware of what this existence was all about. What I was all about. What my life meant and what was I here for.

When conformity became way too big a burden to drag around I packed one bag and left my country of origin. On my own. I knew nobody, where I was heading and I didn’t quite have a clue what I will do.

What kept me going was the need for a change of scenery. The need to get out of the uncomfortable feeling I had in the so called comfort zone. If I stayed where I was, nothing seemed to ever improve. So I had to carve my own life path.

The new beginning  in a new country was not easy. However, even through the first few years I was fairly stable and solid in my opinions about life and how I wanted to live it.

I met some interesting people on my journey and took upon a few opportunities and it all started to come together and bring me a new sense of belonging and identity. Things started to work out nicely. Until…

Until life had a joke up its sleeve for me and I was about to learn more about it.

Then one day I browsed the internet for places to go on holidays. I stumbled upon a 10 days silent meditation retreat, which was called Vipassana. My curious mind was engaged and once I found a bit more about it I was hooked. I wanted to try it. I was both daring and intrigued. To spend 10 days in complete silence, without any eye contact, with no sex, no writing, no technology, no books, no exercise, no alcohol, no drugs, no music…no distractions.

Well, it didn’t take much for me to decide to do it.

The retreat was set in a forest, in an environment of peaceful surroundings and wild wallabies, birds and other creatures. Just perfect set for such an intense 10 days meditation course.

I will skip the details of the retreat story here, and get to the point I want to make here.

My life shattered on that retreat. It was wild, crazy, deep, moving, painful and enlightening ride. I survived physically, yet everything in my psyche fell apart and re-birthed itself anew. It blew my mind, literally.

Life after the retreat was not in any shape or form the same as before.

The belief structures that were so well ingrained in my psyche shattered into millions of lights. Life suddenly made sense.

To know what I am talking about here exactly, you can Google these two words “Kundalini Awakening”, respectively for more descriptive detail of the events, you might want to read the book “Driven By Kundalini”.

I went from being a rather strong and solid practical personality for most years, to finding myself in the center of the whole universal life energy. Bliss is a good way to describe the state of mind, when our mind gets out of the way and the energies there are present and moving upwards.

Experience the eternity in a moment is the best I can call it. Hell and heavens meeting point.

What actually happened was that I ended up hospitalized and locked up in the ICU intensity care unit.

And that was just the beginning …

To leave you with some sort of wisdom from all this. Here is what I know now.

Life is best lived. Until we stretch our thinking mind, we don’t grow. Without support of the right kind, we might not progress as expected.

Let life be what it is, without expectations and attachments to the past or the future.

Be aware.

 

 

 

living life to the fullest

THE BEST THING ABOUT LIFE IS…

How does this sentence continue when you are the writer? How many endings can you come up with?

What are the possibilities? Let’s ponder …

The best thing about life is…

The best thing about life is that it’s one opportunity not to be missed.

The best thing about life is that it is a limited edition and so forth valuable.

The best thing about life is each morning I get to wake up.

The best thing about life is living it.

The best thing about life is there are unlimited possibilities of how it will look like.

The best thing about life is having a loving family.

The best thing about life is giving.

The best thing about life is it’s unforgettable.

The best thing about life is the magical moments of creation.

The best thing about life is there are other people to talk to.

The best thing about life is it’s unpredictable.

The best thing about life is it is like an exciting book.
It has beginning, middle and end.

The best thing about life is the creation of nature.

The best thing about life is it’s free to start with.

The best thing about life is we only have to do it once in this form.

The best thing about life is we get to repeat our mistakes until we learn from them.

The best thing about life is people who spread love.

The best thing about life is it never ceases to exist.

The best thing about life is when one overcomes a challenge.

(I would love to read your comments below this article)

WE ARE WHO WE THINK WE ARE

If you haven’t heard that concept before, you might be a little surprised to learn it.

In fact, it’s not an accurate description of who we truly are in the core of our being. However, the person who gets presented externally to others is a reflection upon the internal representation of our self. That ‘image’ which we hold so close to our heart. Let’s cover this in more detail.

How would you describe yourself? Who are you? What defines you?

Ok, let me help you here. Say you think about yourself that you are a smart cookie. Let’s say you think you are very resourceful. Or you think you are too short or too tall for your age. Another perceived ‘fact’ of your persona could be that you are not beautiful enough. Or that you are always clumsy.

All of the above identifiers show in your external behavior. They also come across in your speech. And as energy follows thought this creates your reality.

What we believe about ourselves, who we believe we are, we recreate externally.

And if you want to test it, think about the traits of someone you either like or dislike. What are their qualities? What makes them likeable to you?

What you might have thought someone was, is just who they show you to be.

I will stretch this concept a little further. We only see in others, what we have inside of ourselves.

The true is that if you like a trait in a person, you have the same quality inside of you. What might have happened is that you are unaware of this being your trait.

So, I suggest you bring awareness to what personalities you are drawn to and what you are trying to avoid.

That will be a good indicator of your own internal qualities and dislikes.

The Good Part Being

In reality, we are much more than what we perceive to be. However, to get to a point, when we can actually really change into the person we would admire and would like to become, we need to realize who we are being now. With awareness comes realization and possibility for change.

Becoming the ideal self is a mastery journey. Most of us have some form of unwanted traits, which we mastered unconsciously, during an early form of social conditioning. That is, however, not an excuse for keeping it that way forever. We have the capacity to change. We can become the person we admire.

Becoming aware of our own internal representations, who we PERCEIVE ourselves to be, is a great step forward. Start today. Look inside and realize who you had been thinking you were!

Stretch your imagination to the heights of possibility and design the person you would love being.

The one you are waiting for is you.