How Can I Have It All And Still Be Unhappy?

I have heard it many times before, if only in my mind. What do YOU have to complain about? You have all one can ask for, and more, yet you are still feeling down at times.

How is that possible?

Yes, in my past, I had made some rather defining life choices, which led me to live in a country with almost constant sunshine all year round. That alone should keep a smile on my face constantly, if nothing else.

And then as I compare my life situation with people who live in parts of the world where there is no running water, where there is no sanitation or where there is not enough fresh food, I have to feel more blessed again.

So where is this underlying un-satisfaction coming from?

The unhappiness comes from deep down inside, where I know that there is more to me than what I’m currently exhibiting. For so long I have been fed the phrase ‘unlimited potential’ that I later started to believe it. And then the unfulfilled feelings came in.

When I developed the so called ‘mental illness’ in the later years and by being repeatedly told how serious it was, it started to affect me and eventually I started to believe it.

I started to look for and see evidence of my disabilities in my every day life. It seemed that I am not as capable as other people around me. I would see others and think to myself: I wish I was that confident. I wish I was such a good communicator. I wish it was so easy to make friends for me. I wish I had more to say. I wish I had such a good memory. I wish I could I wish I could… just be myself and be accepted.

Then I realized something important. The problem is not so much with wanting to be better than I perceive of myself. The main issue lied in the fact, that I have been craving other people’s acceptance, whereas not accepting myself fully the way I am!

As they say: ‘You can’t give of what you do not have first.

So on that note, here goes a fresh affirmation, to uplift my (and your if you like) self and to find the strength to be who I am, no matter what:

“I am who I am and that is good enough. I am good the way I am. There is more to me than I currently experience, and that is ok. I don’t need to be anyone different to be myself. I am full of light and I am loved. Events are unfolding according to universal principles, which I am part of. I know all is well and I am looked after on all levels. In every moment I get what I need for my Well-being and joy. All comes at the right time. I allow experiences to fill me up. My destiny is fluid and changeable. There is nowhere to go, nothing to achieve. Life flows.”

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Self Image By Design

Let the sound of your breath guide you into the Abby’s of your internal environment. Let the mind ponder, let it jump, let it slow down, just for a brief breath, let it be still. Just for a moment. And then let it move again. Slow and fast, and slow and fast. And still again for another split moment when we experience the depth of eternity.

We are often here, breathing, yet not being present. Rarely we are being in the body, when so often the inclination of too many is to escape the prevalent discomfort through the faculty of the mind. Whether it’s the discomfort of physical feelings or uncomfortable emotions, we tend to fly away with the trickster that we have been given, our mind.

Having not yet mastered the faculty of imagination to a greater extend, we steep our mental pictures in repetitive worries, rather than enabling the creativity of new ideas.

Am I talking about you personally? If it feels that way, we have something in common.

We both have been given a gift. It’s more than a simple present. It’s not been wrapped, yet its hard to see it for what it is. Its value is greater than it’s size, yet it is rarely appreciated for what it’s worth.

At the beginning, we both received a breath of life, a body to carry us around and a mind to help us navigate the maze of life.
Now, that already makes for a gift of a lifetime! Mind you, our destiny is not preset by these gifts. The breath of life, the body to go with it and the mind to keep us occupied.

Well, what then shapes our destiny, you might ask? Though these surely are components in the universal equation, the most important particle is this. An intention. Yes, our intention.

The intention that precedes the getting up from bed every morning.  The intention to go with life or go against the flow of it. The intention to continue when the going gets tough.

And one core intention, which we make unconsciously, yet which is the most profound and most influential decision that we do make about anything. That is, the intent of ‘Who we are in each given day‘. Whether that is consistent or often changing, whether that is something we like being or who we don’t like to be.

Whether we put others on a pedestal and feel inadequate in comparison, or when we put on a pedestal our own self-image of who we NEED to be, to be good enough, we do us a disservice. The persona that is on the pedestal, is the problem that we have.

Can you relate? I certainly can. My persona on the pedestal is larger than life and so it’s seemingly impossible for me to match up to it. The problem is, that while I look up at the person that I have created as an ideal of myself, the better version of myself; the gap between who I see myself as and who stares at me from the screen is so large, that it feels absolutely impossible for me to merge the gap. Ever.

That my friend, is a huge self-d’-image issue. Are you still with me? Do you have a creeping suspicion, that what you want to become and where you are now are impossible to bridge? Welcome to my personal experience. 🙂

Now, a swap of hats….this is exactly the situation for a good Life Coach.

My personal Life Coach would be here to tell me, that it’s simple a matter of clarifying my end goal and then designing a plan to get there, step by step.

That sounds simple enough, and that is because it CAN BE just that simple. Time to re-adjust my life journey…join me if you are in the same boat.

Looking for suggestions?

  • Make a moment of silence or with soothing relaxing music.
  • Close your eyes and concentrate on your breath.
  • Stay focused on your breath. In and out, in and out….
  • After about 5 -10 minutes of breathing exercise, ask yourself a question:
    “Who do I want to be and what makes this person great?”

Take a pen and paper, if you like, and write down all that comes to you after you asked that question.

Reassess your current self-image and the answered image. Make a plan of actions to reach your ideal self. Get someone to hold you accountable.

Live your life.