How Can I Have It All And Still Be Unhappy?

I have heard it many times before, if only in my mind. What do YOU have to complain about? You have all one can ask for, and more, yet you are still feeling down at times.

How is that possible?

Yes, in my past, I had made some rather defining life choices, which led me to live in a country with almost constant sunshine all year round. That alone should keep a smile on my face constantly, if nothing else.

And then as I compare my life situation with people who live in parts of the world where there is no running water, where there is no sanitation or where there is not enough fresh food, I have to feel more blessed again.

So where is this underlying un-satisfaction coming from?

The unhappiness comes from deep down inside, where I know that there is more to me than what I’m currently exhibiting. For so long I have been fed the phrase ‘unlimited potential’ that I later started to believe it. And then the unfulfilled feelings came in.

When I developed the so called ‘mental illness’ in the later years and by being repeatedly told how serious it was, it started to affect me and eventually I started to believe it.

I started to look for and see evidence of my disabilities in my every day life. It seemed that I am not as capable as other people around me. I would see others and think to myself: I wish I was that confident. I wish I was such a good communicator. I wish it was so easy to make friends for me. I wish I had more to say. I wish I had such a good memory. I wish I could I wish I could… just be myself and be accepted.

Then I realized something important. The problem is not so much with wanting to be better than I perceive of myself. The main issue lied in the fact, that I have been craving other people’s acceptance, whereas not accepting myself fully the way I am!

As they say: ‘You can’t give of what you do not have first.

So on that note, here goes a fresh affirmation, to uplift my (and your if you like) self and to find the strength to be who I am, no matter what:

“I am who I am and that is good enough. I am good the way I am. There is more to me than I currently experience, and that is ok. I don’t need to be anyone different to be myself. I am full of light and I am loved. Events are unfolding according to universal principles, which I am part of. I know all is well and I am looked after on all levels. In every moment I get what I need for my Well-being and joy. All comes at the right time. I allow experiences to fill me up. My destiny is fluid and changeable. There is nowhere to go, nothing to achieve. Life flows.”

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2 thoughts on “How Can I Have It All And Still Be Unhappy?

  1. Travis Lee says:

    Hey Hana, thank you for sharing this. The ending here is pretty powerful. To accept who we are…in the moment no matter what. As someone who suffers from a traumatic brain injury that is a huge statement. It can be really hard to accept the two page report of all my mental illnesses, but saying those words is a step in the right direction. So again thank you!!

    Like

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