This is a real life story of a person I thought I had known very closely. Right until these events happened and everything changed. I will try my best to describe the experiences as they were perceived to be true. You will learn that meditation is not just some easy relaxation technique for busy people. What I want to express here is that deep meditation has the potential to lead to transformation. However, at some stages in life of the person undergoing this, it can be experienced as mental issues.
If you never meditated yourself and only ever heard of the benefits of meditation, you may be surprised to read what I wrote here. Even if you do have experience with meditation or are seasoned meditator, you may have never came across the situation that I will describe here. However, this can happen from a deep meditation and many people are drawn into the depth of it.
The fact is that the Eastern tradition of meditation has been brought into the Western world without much of the accompanying literature and records that were often kept in secrecy by the initiates. Only when things went wrong for me and I started to look deeper and search for answers I started to learn about another world of data in relation to meditation. I first learned about the knowledge of Kundalini and it’s powerful energy after I had my own experience with it.
Kundalini is a name that describes the life force in each of us. In the Eastern tradition it is explained that this life energy is usually dormant inside our body through our lives. Most people won’t even know about it’s existence. However, nowadays there are many people in both East and the West who are on the quest to reach Kundalini rising or awakening. Their goal can be usually attained through the long practice of deep meditation or through initiation by Masters who have an active Kundalini themselves.
In my case it was a rather sudden awakening through meditation method called Vipassana. This meditation method is one where the person first concentrates on his breath, later on parts of his body and as the meditation practice progresses one learns to move the energy in his body through his body parts. I imagine that would be similar to Reiki energy movement, however, done on oneself.
I haven’t been meditating very much previously to this event. My basic meditation skills were the use of Holosync technologies meditation audio, but not on a regular basis. Few times my partner and I went to a variety of different meditation sessions, about 6 in total. So it was not like I was some sort of Yogi who sat in daily meditation and tried to reach Nirvana.
Vipassana is thought on retreats all over the world and the one we went to was in Queensland hinterlands on a beautiful peaceful property surrounded by forest. It was a 10 days retreat with very strict conditions. One of them was complete silence for the full duration of the retreat; another was not to look in other people’s eyes, no drugs, no sex, no writing, and no electronics and the list of prohibitions went on and on. Just to make sure that we were completely separated from the outside influences.
It is very deep experience and as such may be very life changing for many people. For me it surely was. I had a very good time there for several days. Meditating for most of the day, with some light vegetarian meals for lunch. Other than that there was nothing else to do or worry about. Until it happened.
After several days in very enjoyable state of permanent meditation and pleasant feelings on the body I was to experience my own Kundalini awakening and rising. It was the best feeling in the whole world. Beyond what words can convey.
It was both physical and mental pleasure and it lasted for what seemed like hours (perhaps it was). After this experience another dimension opened up to me. My mind was full of new perceptions and abilities. This was all well and good. Until a few days later when I started to have some frightening feelings.
I felt as if part of my body was dying and I was not able to control it. That scene went into such a dramatic experience that I was escorted out of the meditation hall and after some more unusual occurrences, we were told to leave the retreat in the middle of the night.
At the end I ended up in hospital. I was disillusioned, didn’t react to what people were telling me and lived in some sort of magical reality that nobody else could see. After I had been administered some strong drugs I quickly came to and behaved ‘normally’ again. The doctors were perplexed as they haven’t experienced someone with such symptoms from meditation before. They also said that my recovery was very quick.
I returned to my normal life few days later and in a month ended up in hospital again. This continued for months and led into years. The worst was yet to come. With time the treatment started to be harsher and the time in hospital longer as they tried and tested all possible calming drugs on me.
Meditation can be a great tool to peaceful life. However, it needs to be used with caution and people should be aware of what can happen in cases like mine.
What I can say to people is this. “If you want to change your life by meditation, have no expectations on the outcome. It will change your life, and in the long run it will be to the better.”