Alternative to Alcoholic beverages

WHEN ALCOHOL STARTED TO MAKE SENSE

If you think that this is another one of my confessions following the last few articles, you might be surprised. Yes, I am going to speak about drinking of alcohol and when it all started to make sense. However, it won’t be the story about getting sober after a night of drinking…

What I want to ponder about today with you is the following. The reasons for drinking of alcohol may seem to vary between individuals. Often having some form of alcoholic drink is seen as a nice touch to a well prepared meal.  Then there are occasions, like celebrations of any kind, where alcohol plays its celebrity status. And the last but not least of the groups of alcohol drinking occasions are those days and moments when people are just drinking for the sake of getting drunk.

So what about alcohol is so elusively attractive? I would like to share with you my discovery on alcohol drinking.

It’s not the fact, that it tastes good (which in most cases it DOESN’T, until one gets used to it, or drunk enough). It’s not even the fact, that it’s the drink of choice when socializing with others and we are often influenced by other peers to a drink.

The attractiveness of alcohol is simple.

It is the power of this etheric substance that brings our mind out of the controlling role and takes us away from our day to day issues. Most people, when they drink alcohol (perhaps a bit more than a half of a glass) start to feel like their troubles start to wash away; they become more confident in their expression and speech; their behavior starts to be more open and expressive.

Now, I will say that all of the above characteristics are not typical behavior for the person. They will show, however, their true personality traits revealed. The good, the bad, the ugly. All of it at once, sometimes.

When did alcohol start to make sense?

To answer that I will choose my own way of putting it. Alcohol made sense, because it is the ‘shortcut’, respectively a ‘quick fix’ to the feelings that people are yearning for. The feelings of joy; connection to something greater than themselves; acceptance of who they are; being in the moment; not having to worry about a single thing. The essence of alcohol drinking is to numb the controlling, nagging, always present conscious mind!

So saying all of the above, as a non-alcohol beverages drinker, I would like to offer an alternative to alcohol drinking. Can you relate to the above words and find alcohol relaxing? Then I would recommend you to try some form of relaxation, that doesn’t involve damage to your brain cells and slow destruction of your organs.

One of my suggested options to alcohol could be to try some non-alcoholic fermented drinks, for example Kombucha. That would be first step that would allow you to still enjoy the acquired taste of something tart and fizzy, without the side effects of alcohol consumption.

The next step would be to look at your thought patterns, in a way of self-discovery (read up on CBT if you like) and finding the reason behind the need to drink. And then find some relaxing music (that doesn’t make you emotionally charged), simple meditation or just plain rain drops or bird sounds to keep your mind occupied in a better way than drinking of alcohol.

And the last tip I would give you. If you feel pressure from your peers to have a drink as a social gesture, please find other friends. If that is not possible, be the friend that brings in a few bottles of Kombucha and offer it to others as an alternative to alcohol (perhaps not even saying that it’s non-alcoholic if you prefer).

Sober and joyous life.

FROM “RICHES TO RAGS”, THE ROAD THROUGH HELL

Growing up in the time Czechoslovakia was under the communist regime sure was different from the freedom there is now. So while there were many restrictions, I learned that resilience is the key to overcoming obstacles, to keep my mouth shut when not asked, to be invisible, and that there are both borders and boundaries defining everything.

While at college I was part of the demonstrators against the communist government. At times we faced human shielded barriers and were expecting tanks to come rolling down at us. Fortunately for us all the time was right and the communist regime fell down before our eyes.

Later on after college I took on a few good jobs. English was still not a commonly used international language like it is today. Nudged by my parents I went to London  for a year to study English.

While there I supported my studies by living with, and looking after, two young girls. Childcare was never my strength. The younger girl was at times so challenging, that I would leave them both downstairs playing and watching TV and locked myself in my room upstairs.

One day I was so tired after a long weekend partying, that I slept when the family came home without keys. As they could not get in, the younger girl had to climb through an upstairs window to get home. All I recall was her entering my room, and as I was still asleep she screamed on the top of her lungs: “HANAAAA”! That much for my child minding qualities.

Upon return back to Prague I worked in a few good jobs and then found my way to the finance department of the British Embassy in Prague. A dream job working in a prestigious organization; with lovely group of people, meeting some well-known authorities. Among them was a quick personal chat with Prince Charles when he visited. I also assisted with the convoy transport of the delegates of NATO summit in Prague, having a great opportunity to enter the Air Force One plane while the crew was having a break.

All that was just perfect. However, I knew that if I stayed in that job, not much would change. I would most likely retire there and would still live with my parents.

So at a spur of a moment, I decided to take a chance and travel to the other side of the world to go to my friend’s wedding. It is a long journey so I decided to make the best of it and arranged to stay for the whole year. Not at my friends place of course, as that would be overstaying my welcome.

The first 6 months were tough learning. I went from a high profile jobs in Prague to not being able to find work in my field. Everywhere I asked, they told me they wanted someone with ‘local experience’. After some searching I took a job in hospitality, preparing sandwiches.

Coincidence had it that after some time making delicious sandwiches I was offered to run an overseas student agency in Sydney. One thing led to another and soon enough I have met Rado. Now, as it turned out, he was a great reason to stay in Australia. So I did extend my stay for another year, then another few, and later on made it permanent.

We happily settled in windy Sydney and later moved to sunny Brisbane. Life was good most of the time. Then in 2008 I went to all the possible and impossible seminars out there. Whether it was healing, investing or internet marketing, I’d done them all. After the massive dose of personal development, I left my corporate carrier and started my own healing venture. That seemed to be a bad move at first, as my confidence in my skills was lower than that of my clients.

So after a while at my home office, I fell into a depression which lasted for a few months.

Then I regained strength and trust in life and found an interesting retreat that promised (in my mind) the ultimate peace of mind and well-being on all levels. So I eagerly signed up.

After 6 days in total silence I was in total bliss. THEN ON DAY 8 MY WORLD SHATTERED.

Several years later I was still in the midst of the mental upheaval that had spun from the retreat.

I went through a massive dose of depression on several occasions, only to find out that depression is a sign of changing values and beliefs about our world construct and us.

The hopelessness that I felt back in those days was only understood by those who once went through it. There was no rational reason for me to be depressed. I had the life of other people’s dreams. And still… or maybe just because of that… I felt life was pointless and each day was a dreaded nightmare. That feeling lasted for some time. Understand months and years.

Then, after the worse passed and with a lot of support, I was back on my feet and ‘right in my head’. To be back to normal state of the mind was such a bonus. I felt recharged and regained some of my former self, with a new zest for living.

Only when I could see and accepted that I was actually fine, that life was worthy living, that people cared and that I had a mission to live, I recovered.

I found my calling in guiding others. In writing articles, blogs and books, coaching and teaching. I love the AHA moments of clarity, when things just come together. There is the deeper knowing, which means the truth is being revealed. Whether that is during writing of a text or the coaching session, it’s one of the most profound moments offered on the journey of self-discovery.

My mission is to live as an example of recovery, assist to found joy in life, help others create a future by design and trust in the higher power to deliver it.

May you be inspired and find your truth and joy.

ALL RELATIONSHIP ISSUES SOLVED!

When it comes to relationships, there are many in our lives. There are many people in different relationships to us. Some people are in relationship with us and we call them family. Others we have a different type of relationship with and call them friends.

Another kind of relationship we might have with someone in a position of authority. Perhaps a doctor, coach, landlady, or teacher. Whatever the reason we are interacting with another person on a regular basis, we tend to enter into some form of a relationship with them.

The best thing about relationships is, as many of you might have realized, that they are usually involving two and more people. Yet, we also have some kind of a relationship with ourselves.

What I want to discuss with you today, is how we are handling these interactions with other people. Whether with family, friends, or others in our life.

I will give you an example here.

Here we have Betty and her partner of many years, Don. Betty loves Don and Don loves Betty. Let’s start with Betty.

Betty has been feeling a  bit frustrated lately. When we examine it closer, the reason Betty is not happy is because Don doesn’t pay much attention to Betty. At least not as much as he used to.  Don, who is at work the whole day, is fairly happy just to crash on the couch, watch some TV, have a beer and go to sleep.

Betty tries to talk to Don, but as she is not getting the kind of interaction that she would be pleased with, she soon stops her attempts to start the talk. As a result, she starts to look for another way to feel better and to fill the void. Betty finds herself a solution. She goes to shops and buys designers clothing.

When Betty shows Don her newly bought treasures, at least there she generates some form of interaction between her and Don. It might also mean, that Don will have to look at her in her bright new outfit, and might even compliment her.

From the above scenario, we can see that Betty is finding another way of getting to feel better. However, avoiding the real issue.

Now, here is Don.

Don doesn’t usually tend to express much, in terms of feelings and emotions. He doesn’t tend to talk much with Betty, as he doesn’t think she can understand him. Don is sometimes upset that Betty does things without his consent, but he doesn’t talk about it much.

Don thinks life is a struggle and one has to build up resilience and overcome the struggle by being virtuous. So he tries his best to live a virtuous existence. At times, Don’s internal pressure valve bursts open and the steam comes out with others around him.

Look at Betty and Don. Are you able to perhaps see anyone you know in this example?

Now let me tell you how I see this scenario from the external viewpoint. And what would serve best both Betty and Don.

Betty and Don had become a bit intertwined with each other over the years. And truly, that happens to many of us, when we live with someone long enough.

At the beginning, we spoke about the different reasons we all enter into relationships. The partnership relationship is one that many of us, or at least some of us, will go through in this life.

We learn very young how relationships are, by observing people around us. Then when we are growing up, we learn from other sources like media. The mixture of these is indeed a big influence on how we form and handle our own relationships.

Have you ever heard yourself say something to another, and then realized that you just sounded like one of your parents or carer?

So how to best deal with conflicts and issues underlying the often overlooked problems, before they snowball into a bigger problem in our relationship?

The best way about building lasting and fulfilling relationship is to start with oneself. When we are still single and at the stage when we dream about the other half. That is the time we need to start building a strong relationship with oneself.

What does that look like?

When we learn to understand, that the reason we would like to be in a relationship is for the beautiful shared moments of peace and harmony, of joy and content with life, of excitement from living and sharing this existence with another being. Then the person of such a confidence with life, is ready to attract their match.

On the other hand, when we come to partnership relationship from needs and expectations on the other person, we don’t come from a place of wholeness and love. Then the other person we attract to ourselves is also in the same boat. They are responding to the energetic vibration we are sending (we could call it a certain degree of low self-confidence, lack of self-love and desire for any kind of personal attachment).

The true solution to Betty and Don is to go back to their own basic needs and fulfill them with self-love. They, and we all, can be sure to do ourselves a big favor, when we come back and start the journey within.

And if that all sounds too airy fairy, then perhaps just have a power session at the gym and couple of green smoothies, before delving into the unknown field of self exploration and self-help.

I wish you the best new self discoveries. As we all can benefit from some more meditation, internal observing, reflection and self-awareness.

Live well aware.